I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
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i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
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My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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