what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Boobs speak an international language.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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