When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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