she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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