I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I need to align my fucking chakras
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize