i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i wish my penis had a tongue
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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