put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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