just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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