Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I looked at my own cervix.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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