There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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