After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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