Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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