I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
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