I faked an abortion last night.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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