He disabled his match.com account in front of me
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize