the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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