i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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