Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize