4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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