it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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