At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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