Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize