I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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