...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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