just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
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Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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