I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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