bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The air was thick with penises
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Who put my cat in the fridge?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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