just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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