I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize