We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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