i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
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i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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