I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize