Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize