what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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