So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize