Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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