TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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