just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize