I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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