Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize