Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize