Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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