Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

We won't sleep together?

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(212): We won't sleep together? http://tfl.nu/ebgb

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(415): View more from California

Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?

(323): View more from California

Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her

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(415): Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________? (323): Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her http://tfl.nu/qxlw

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(623): View more from Arizona

highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...

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(623): highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume... http://tfl.nu/i7v6

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(630): View more from Illinois

So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.

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(630): So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again. http://tfl.nu/rreu

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(815): View more from Illinois

Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.

(815): View more from Illinois

Grandpa would have been proud

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(815): Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out. (815): Grandpa would have been proud http://tfl.nu/nrjc

Replies (13) Good night (5694) Bad night (1091)
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(646): View more from New York

So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.

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(646): So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex. http://tfl.nu/jc5g

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(410): View more from Maryland

I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.

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(410): I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me. http://tfl.nu/7cby

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(410): View more from Maryland

Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"

(1-410): View more from Maryland

How come I never meet celebrities?

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(410): Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield" (1-410): How come I never meet celebrities? http://tfl.nu/j09q

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.

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(715): I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers. http://tfl.nu/5ulf

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(586): View more from Michigan

I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.

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(586): I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me. http://tfl.nu/23ps

Replies (8) Good night (3881) Bad night (625)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.

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(604): The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this. http://tfl.nu/0j6r

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(919): View more from North Carolina

she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

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(919): she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE http://tfl.nu/jqwa

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.

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(978): You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone. http://tfl.nu/5mak

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(509): View more from Washington

Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane

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(509): Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane http://tfl.nu/c9oo

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.

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(603): No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized. http://tfl.nu/mdx3

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