i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
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I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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