don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i dont even know how to be here
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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