it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize