This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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