win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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