marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize