I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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